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Tag Archives: reality
There’s not much time left until Christmas. It will go by very quickly though. Looking at the Facebook news feed, I get the distinct feeling people are ready for this to be over. People are either extremely tired or they are frantically shopping. Well, maybe they’re just tired of shopping.
It reminds me of what it’s like to take a road trip, the busyness of preparing for the trip, running around making sure you didn’t forget anything. Is everything packed? Did I give the key to the neighbor? Are all of the important items checked off my to do list? (it’s not even possible to complete all of them) Should I check my email one more time? Is the iron off? Oh yeah, I don’t have an iron. Okay, I think it’s time to get in the car.
Pulling out of the driveway, I’m going over the mental list in high speed, before I’ve driven too far to go back and get whatever it is I’ve forgotten. Once I’m on the road for a little while, this restful peace sets in. Ah, the blissful haven between life’s pandemonium and the inescapable reality of a final destination.
As I dream of the adventures, the gentle rocking motion of the Infiniti sleigh is soothing to me and I’m trying to adjust the volume of the radio. Turn, turn, turn… to no avail. Eventually I’ll replace the shocks and get the volume knob fixed… or maybe not. The sleigh has character and it makes me smile. Not because it’s been paid off for 8 years, because it’s my happy place. The sleigh takes me to wonderful places and the unexplored universe of reckless abandon, a place once called home to someone.
I will be in the car for many hours. I have my journal and camera ready for action. What great adventures will I find? On a trip to Austin with Amy and my boys a few months ago, whenever we saw something interesting, we wrote down the exit number, then stopped at all of them on the way back home. The trip home took 3 times longer and was 100 times more fun. What did we see?
I think back to the many road trips I have taken over the past several years. The tiring anticipation of an arrival. Will it be the ‘getaway’ I expected and needed? As I wonder if it was worth going at all, the moment finally comes. Arrival.
I’m here, the red push pin and the pulsing blue dot have finally come together. For a brief moment, the purple cloud of excitement is overwhelming. As quickly as it came, the cloud dissipates and reality sets it. My chaotic life has just moved to a new location. Plug in the computer, check email, unpack and get out the time-away to do list. Did I turn off the iron? No, because I don’t have one. Maybe I should get one so I can check to see if it’s turned off.
Why does a road trip remind me of Christmas? People are scurrying around trying to accomplish all of the last minute details to create their perfect Christmas experience. What did they forget? Before they know it, Christmas day is here. Did they find any moments of tranquility or fulfillment? Did they find their happy place?
I knew Christmas was coming and at some point, I did find a place of contentment and joy. Now it’s so close, I’m apprehensive and too busy to enjoy it. What will Christmas day bring? Happiness? Loneliness? Joy? Sadness? I don’t know the answer to that question.
I have learned something about Christmas this year though, it’s about the journey, not the destination. The fantasies and lofty expectations of Christmas are an unavoidable let down. I plan to enjoy the journey when I can and embrace the Christmas chaos when I have to. I will not get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas, as it creates a false sense of pleasure, and in end producing a massive plunge into a materialistic despair.
I love the true meaning of Christmas and I hope to experience the joy of the day, but honestly? I’m ready for it to be over.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Only 9 days now.
Christmas will be here soon. I have this gut feeling… I’m forgetting something. What is it? There’s no time to think about it.
Time, our most valuable commodity. Time, our best friend and our worst enemy. Time is money. I think the Eagles understand the meaning of time. In their words, “…you can spend all your love making time.” I don’t pretend to even come close to understanding love, but isn’t it something about relationships? Isn’t it about people?
I was talking with my friend Thom the other day, complaining because I didn’t have enough time to get everything done, and he asked, “If you’re saying you don’t have enough time, isn’t that like telling God he didn’t give us enough of it?” Hmm. I think he’s right. Why are we so busy?
I’ve received a few Christmas cards so far this year. I don’t send Christmas cards anymore, mostly because it’s a Christmas expectation. It’s that feisty, non-conformist part of me that just won’t do it. I don’t want to send a meaningless, mass produced piece of cardstock to someone, only for it to get lost in a sea of empty tidings. Everyone complains about no having the time to prepare their many Christmas cards. If it’s such a hassle, why do it? Do we even notice if one of our friends doesn’t send the obligatory Christmas wishes?
I do like seeing the family pictures, as this makes the cards more personal. This is also where people get creative, maybe because they need to top last years photo or make their card funny so it’s more memorable and stands out from the others. I have some friends that not only create the funniest cards, they have the next eight years’ ideas planned. And we all think the same thing, “My, how everyone has changed since last year!” Time really flies.
The cards I find the most interesting, are the ones containing family updates. I’m not quite sure where this process originated, but I suppose if you only hear from people once a year, it’s important to catch up on the entire time span. Limit: one paragraph per person please. These updates usually reflect the family busyness in a comical way or highlight the achievements of the role-model kids. If someone read these, without knowing the people, one might believe they have achieved worldly perfection. Where are the ‘reality cards’, the ones saying it’s been a tough year? My kids are struggling in school, I lost my job and oh, by the way, you can take his name off the card. He doesn’t live here anymore.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
It takes a lot of time to achieve excellence in anything we do. This blog is taking a good amount of time to write everyday, so why am I doing it? I’m doing it to enhance my writing skills and to communicate my Christmas story. My story is filled with the hatred of consumerism, the love of watching people interact with the ‘season’, the sadness of our culture, the happiness of watching people change that culture, the lack of time and the process of making more time for the right things.
Honestly, when I start writing at 5am, I’m trying to create a masterpiece instead of just writing from my heart. I don’t spend enough time in my heart, only in my head. To me, it’s a much safer place to be, although C. S. Lewis would disagree. Time to reevaluate my goals. Regroup. If I’m doing things for the right reasons, not because of an imposed cultural burden or a self-inflicted nonsensical expectation, wouldn’t that give me more time to do the important things in life?
I think we try to take all of our normal activities, which there still isn’t enough time in the day to do, add the Christmas craziness on top of it, and we turn into a bunch of crabby Christmas robots, programmed to accomplish, not experience. No wonder everyone is stressed out. If it’s how we function as a society all year long, why should Christmas be any different? Could we change this? Do we even want to?
Instead of focusing on society’s definition of success, I think I’ll define my own. The word balance comes to mind again. Balance of time and achievements. So what if Cole can’t tie his shoes yet? Who cares if my kids don’t want to learn to ride a bike? I don’t want to teach my kids that they have to do what everyone else is doing. They don’t have to keep up with the Jones’. Who chose this family to represent our portrait of success? The thing I find funny here is that nobody has ever met them, although you’ve probably receive a Christmas card from them every year.
My Christmas cards, if you choose to call them such, are different this year. It’s giving away tiny little gifts to people I know and to those I don’t know.
Your time is valuable, so no, you don’t have to click on other links to figure this out. Here’s what is posted on the blog:
- The first thing you need to know is that we did not hand select your words. All of the words were randomly placed into small envelopes and sealed for your safety. 🙂
- There are Spanish words because we are encouraging everyone we know to learn a few words. Then you can go with us to Casa Hogar Elim.
- We want you to place your words on a metal surface that you look at frequently so you can always remember this – everyone is creative in their own way. What is your gift?
- Christmas is about relationships and we want you to remember all year long that we’re glad you’re our friend!
In a nutshell, words are great, but we don’t take enough time to use them. Once Christmas nears and the exhaustion sets in, and we are all worn down, trying to figure out this whirlwind called Christmas, we might take a few moments to remember something about the birth of a baby. A baby named Jesus. Yes, that’s what I’ve forgotten.
Time goes quickly. Life will pass us by. Maybe we need a visit from the ghost of Christmas past.
It was clear to me this morning at 5:30am what I needed to write about, a new and unexpected Christmas cheer. Yesterday’s schedule was filled with ‘tinselectomy‘ opportunities and I had an expectation of how each of them would play out. I was so off base, but it made me understand how I and other people are experiencing a transformation to humble altruism.
Amy had a wonderful idea, to feed the guys in downtown Frisco, the men that are desperately looking for any available work to feed their families. They stand outside the Exxon, rain or shine, and I know that because it was raining yesterday. Amy posted this lunch idea on Facebook last week. Nancy saw it, and loved the idea so much, she planned to do this. It ended up that all three of us got together and prepared 30 lunches to take to these guys.
Our everyday beaten paths lead us down Main street regularly, enough to know that we would have enough lunches, but not enough to know if these guys would be outside in the very cold rain. As we approached, they were there, all of them, scanning the passing cars with a hopeful look that someone would have a paid task for them. As I drove into the parking lot, I didn’t even come to a stop before there were at least 12 men swarming around the car. We had to wait for them to step away from the doors so we could get out to give them the lunch bags we had prepared.
As we passed out the lunch sacks, all of them were very polite and said “gracias”, Amy and I responded with “de nada”, one of the ten Spanish words we know. Then Nancy starts having a conversation with them in Spanish. Who knew? Oh, she is SO going to Casa Hogar Elim soon! Nancy was asking if they had any friends that were out on jobs or if anyone was inside, because we would leave lunches for them. They were so happy to get the lunches and so polite, we had to persuade them to take extras or take some for their friends. Most of them were well into their sandwiches before we drove out of the parking lot.
As it turns out, we had 5 lunch bags left over. We drove over to the laundromat to see if there were any people over there that needed lunch. We gave away a couple more, and as we walking out the door, we ran into another lady. Nancy asked her if she would like a lunch. She asked “¿Cuánto dinero?” Of course, Nancy said it was free and explained what we were doing. The conversation slowly transitioned from Spanish to English. We only spoke with her briefly, but we got a chance to talk about church. She is another one of those people I would have loved to have sat down and talked with. I think at some point I’m going to go to the laundromat and do my laundry so I will have that opportunity.
Another Facebook thing, Jody (not me), who posted on the PTCC wall that she wanted to donate her hair to Pantene, a place making free wigs for women going through cancer treatments, got her hair cut yesterday. Since I had done Locks of Love a while back, I wanted to go with her for support. She was looking for other people to do this with her, and I would do this again, but my hair will have to grow for a long time before I have enough. I was there while she got her hair cut. She had the same look on her face that I did. the ‘oh, crap, I’m really doing this’ look, with the undertone of ‘this is a great cause and so worth it’ look. This is such an awesome thing to do. If you’re interested in donating your hair, I will come support you too! Steve Hodges is our resident expert on hair donation if you need someone to do it.
Finally, I had a photo shoot in downtown Dallas last night. My expectation? It’s downtown Dallas and surely I will run into some impoverished or homeless people. I went down there with some envelopes with money in them, inside the envelopes, a message that God loves them. I typically don’t like to give cash, because if they do have a drug problem or something like that, I don’t want to enable them. I realized I have changed my view on that a little bit. Even though I still believe the statement I just made, I also don’t want to be judgmental. The cash might help someone get a much needed meal or get them closer to a shelter. It’s been on my heart to start a program in Dallas, much like the Chicago Shares program, a voucher-based way to give, redeemable only for food and toiletries.
As it turns out, we ran into no impoverished or homeless people, but it did turn out to be a fun evening of photography and hanging out with some of my crazy friends. If you think this picture is weird, then you probably don’t want to join our photography group. If you like it, we do go out and play with our cameras on a regular basis.
My reality? I was somewhat disappointed that I didn’t run into anyone I could help. The disappointment was based on the knowledge that there are so many people that need help and I had a way to help, but no opportunity to do so.
The unexpected Christmas cheer, or we’ll call it another piece of the Christmas spirit, is encouragement. I feel like God is leading me to get outside myself. That’s not the easiest thing for me to do, or for anyone to do. Well, maybe Mama Lupita, and we can all learn a lot from her. I could blog all day long about this, but I have to go to work. I do have one closing thought. As I was walking home from taking my kids to school this morning, in the 24 degrees of bitter cold, I couldn’t help but think of all the homeless people that are out in this awful cold, all the people I didn’t run into last night. I can’t even comprehend not having a warm house to go to or not having any other options than to be out in the piercing arctic cold. I take my house for granted, but I walked into it this morning with a whole new appreciation. How do I find these people in need and how can I help them? I hope to answer that within my 25 days of Christmas blogging.