the great pumpkin

They say the older women get, the bigger their underwear get.  I’m not sure who ‘they’ is, but I’m quite sure ‘they’ spent too much time at grandma’s house or looking at the Sears catalog.  

So what’s my obsession with panties lately?  Well, for starters, we’re using a pair of granny panties in a photo shoot for our Christmas church mailer.  Christmas surprises.  (nope, this one wasn’t my idea)  So when I posted that I am shopping for granny panties on Facebook, I got a lot of interesting questions.  First of all, anyone that knows me, knows that I’m always looking for odd things to shoot or weird things for my art projects.

So when I was getting dressed the next morning, I chose a pair of underwear (I prefer to call them underwear, not panties, as that is a girly word) from my drawer.  My thought process: These aren’t my favorite ones, they fit okay, I don’t really like the color, but they’re clean.  Who’s going to see them anyway?  I do wear teenager clothing and my jeans are more low-rise than they should be.  No big deal, if I just wear a shirt that is long and covers everything, nobody will see them.  So I put them on.  I got dressed and remembered I had this totally awesome hat.  After choosing the hat, I had to find a shirt that matched.  I found the perfect long sleeved t-shirt.  Time to go hang out with some friends and unwind.

Well, needless to say, the shirt matched the hat perfectly, but did not work with my underwear plan.  I needed under-cover-wear.    They were not only just a tad big for me, but they were also bright orange.  After listening to many comments about my underwear during happy hour, I told them to take a picture, it would last longer.  So they did.  My friends got in on it too.  Yes, we all flashed our underwear choices right there on Main street.

So this morning when I got dressed, I very carefully selected my underwear.  My shirt today was long, so nobody ever saw them.  They were my Gap men’s boxer briefs.  I have several pairs of men’s boxer briefs. No, they are not hand-me-down’s from an ex, I bought them myself.  Comfort in underwear that can’t even compare to anything they make for women!  Should these just be for men only?  I think not, although I haven’t found a use for that opening in the front yet.

So if people can see your underwear, make sure your underwear fit and that they aren’t orange.  There’s nothing worse than your butt looking like the great pumpkin.  Unless it’s your halloween costume.  And if that’s the case, you should rethink your costume choice.   🙂


About jody wissing

I'm a person just trying to matter in a crazy world. View all posts by jody wissing

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