I have several friends that are job hunting right now, searching for an opportunity in this non opportunistic economy.  Although I’ve been very blessed by having not only having a job, but one that I love, I still feel the stress.  Stress for them and their situations and stress knowing it could be me.

Last week, I received a forwarded email from a friend with a job listing she received from an online job search site.  Before I respond to it, I’ll let you read it.

Category: Writing, Editing & Translation
Description: Single white male seeking open minded creative female writer please, to edit and rewrite some internet personal datng ads.  That can attract and convey that I’m a multi dimensional open minded male with a caregiver overall character.

I’ve been fortunate to have some long term relationships with some beautiful openly Bi women that lead to some SAFE unforgettable fun times. I’ve been very open with those I date.  I believe in having open honest communication rather than playing games and wasting time.

So my point is I don’t necessarily need to walk on that side but would like to have about 4-5 racy different ads that are very candid in letting the reader know that I don’t judge people and if they are, OR were straight, bi or curious with mild to wild desires now and then, that’s fine. But among other things point out that I’m a very accepting, financially and emotionally secure, non jealous type of person.

I would like to place the ads onto various sites and have the ads be tasteful yet a bit edgy.

My first uttered word after picking my jaw up off the floor was “wow”.  Is this for real?  This clearly combines everything bad about the dating world and everything bad about job hunting, creating a disturbing portrait of our society.

The single white male that posted this has not only put a lot of time, effort and thought into this, but also spend a good amount of money doing it.  I would love to hear his definition of some of the words he’s chosen here: caregiver, long-term, safe, emotionally secure…  It’s not really the ad that makes me uncomfortable, it’s the fact that he’s looking for a professional writer to make his personal ads, and making all of this sound fun and acceptable.  I know this world exists and there will be plenty of women that will respond to his “well written” ads, but I suppose the part that bothers me to the point that I’m writing this, is that it’s intersected with my world.

I’m not a very judgmental person, and if this is the lifestyle he has chosen and he has women choosing to participate as well, then that’s his business.  I’m a single mom, not very actively dating, but let’s say I want to change that at some point.  I would not like to run into this guy, or anyone like him.  Seeing online dating through the eyes of friends, they have run into this type of single white male.  The problem?  These friends have similar values to mine and yet they are getting matched up with men or women that in no way resemble what they are looking for.  Do guys like this lie on their profiles or are the people matching software programs written that poorly?

Now let’s talk about my friend that received this and other friends I have that are job hunting.  (I suppose hunting is a good word since you have to gear up, find one, then fight for it)  I have several friends that desperately need a job.  Imagine the job hunt…  You wake up in the morning to check your inbox and you have four or five emails from job search sites.  Out of thousands of jobs, you get the four to five responses.  The above listing was one of many like that, a listing for questionable freelance work.  I seriously doubt any of my friends would ever consider replying to a listing like this one, but the fact that this type of listing comes up and they have to weed through stuff like this, well, it just has to be frustrating.  Where is the real job they need?

I do call this a disturbing portrait of our society, despite that, I plan to be a speck in the corner of that portrait that represents goodness.  Goodness in God and goodness through positive influence.  I know there are many good specks in the portrait and when you stand back and look, those specks make a beautiful impression, overlaying the sometimes unfavorable reality.

It’s dirty.  You are told to wash your hands after touching it.

Everyone wants it.  A lot of it.

It comes in many forms: paper, metal, plastic and air.

It’s illegal to put this in your ears in Hawaii.

It carries the message that we trust in God, sadly though, our use of it says differently.

Yes, I’m talking about money.  There was a fabulous message this weekend on money at PTCC by Paul Basden.  It was called Money Minefields, part of the hugofwar.com series.  Now being unmarried, I have to listen to a marriage series through my ’single’ filter.  The great thing about this message, when all of the marriage elements are stripped away, there are SO many great lessons here.

I could blog on this topic all day long, but I have a purpose here.  In the interest of time, Paul had to cut something from his message this weekend that really got me thinking…

The Lost Scrolls of Paul (Okay, so they are LifeGroup notes.  If you roll them up, technically they become scrolls.  Just sayin’)

Paul did talk about how greed and fear are closely related.  The details of this really got me thinking.  In order to correct any problem, you must understand the root of the problem.  This piece shed a light on my own views on money.  Whether our financial situations are good or bad, I think we all have fears related to them.  Here’s the detail, copied in from our life group notes:

When it comes to money, are you more afraid of …

• not having enough
• not having as much
• not having more than

Paul touched on these fears, along with a brief explanation of them.  Please keep in mind that I am blogging this from my own perspective and interpretation.  (Paul, if you’re reading this, feel free to give me some feedback on my interpretation)  ;)

not having enough - This is related to survival.

We have fears that we won’t have what we need to survive.  This fear could have originated from your upbringing or from unfavorable life lessons.  We are not trusting that God will provide for our needs.  We don’t ever want to be in a position where we are in need.

not having as much - This is related to comparison.

Trying to keep up with the Jones’.  The problem here is that the Jones are society’s poster family.  They represent everything in our culture that is financially destructive.  The Jones’ have all the cool stuff.  They have all the latest electronics, trendy clothing, new cars and a nice house that has the greenest grass you’ve ever seen.

Have you looked in their backyard?  Behind the pool?  On an average, they carry about $8,000 worth of credit card debt, car payments and not a lot in savings.  The rooms closed off in the house are unfurnished and that yard area behind the pool?  It’s not green at all.

not having more than - This is related to arrogance.

The desire to have more than anyone else, or everyone else.  You’ve probably heard the old saying, “He who dies with the most wins…”  What are you winning?  Choosing materialism over relationships is no way to live, and certainly no way to die.

After pondering this, I do struggle with two of these fears:  not having enough and not having as much.  Mostly with not having enough.  After thinking about this, talking about it last night in our singles group and having the desire to make some positive changes, my next blog will be on tips to make positive improvements.  I have made many, but there’s still room for improvement.  Stay tuned…

In the mean time, enjoy my book recommendation from toothpastefordinner.com.

There were some really nice thunderstorms rolling into Nuevo
Laredo.  Yep, you guessed it, I had
to break out the camera.  I got
some great lightening shots.  God
put on an amazing show!

I had a few people ask, “How do you do that?”  It’s simple, really.  Place your camera on a tripod, place
the shutter in ‘bulb’ mode and be prepared to take a lot of photos.  You have to take into consideration the
light pollution that is in your area.
A one to two minute exposure is all I could do.  Then, just wait for God to shoot a lightening
bolt for you.  J

So to get the three photos below, I had to take about 20-25
photos.  The storms were pretty
active so I didn’t have to wait long.

I love it when I can share art with kids!  I am in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico at Casa
Hogar Elim orphanage.  Last time I
was here, we did photography light painting with the kids.  This time, I brought lots of
flashlights for the kids to use, and with a supply of color gels to color the
flashlights.

Not familiar with light painting?  Simple, and yet most cool process.  If you have an SLR, place it on a tripod and set the shutter
on ‘bulb’.  Hold the shutter button
down and have people ‘paint’ with the flashlights.  Anything that has light on it will show up in your photo.

The kids down here love to light paint.  When we break out the camera and
flashlights, they know exactly what we’re doing.  They get so excited and like to see the photos right after
we take them.  With that being
said, I have to hold on tight to the camera because the stampede of children
will come after every photo.  The
excitement on their faces is awesome and it’s wonderful to watch them come up
with creative ideas for the next shot.

Enough words.
Photos below.  J

I’m listening to the song Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath
on the radio driving through Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.  That song is so touching and really about what I want to
accomplish in blogging about this trip.

This is my second trip down here, but before my first time,
I had heard so many stories about Casa Hogar Elim.  Anyone that had a story would say. “…you can’t put it into
words, you have to go down there to experience it.”

The best way I know how to communicate what an amazing
experience it is and how blessed I feel by being around these children is to
show photos and write a little bit about each one of them.

We are on our way to Laredo, TX to pick up a few pallets of
food donated to CHE.  They have a
storage facility there to accept and store donations.  It is quite a process to get the food across the border and
to hopefully not get taxed on it.

I’m writing this as we are in a caravan of four vehicles
going to Laredo.  JD just got
pulled over by the local police for speeding.  Anytime we see flashing lights down here, it’s a little
scary.  (that didn’t stop me from
taking a photo… will post as soon as I can download it from my camera)  Looks like it’s just a standard
speeding ticket thing.  The police
were not fans of all of us pulling over, so two vehicles left to cross the
border.  Still waiting to hear from
JD.

Wow.  I have thousands of stories from just 5 days.  Where to start…

Not only did we spend a lot of time at Casa Hogar Elim, many of us wandered out into the surrounding areas.  We went into “las colonias”, the local neighborhoods surrounding CHE, the middle school, a few stores and into the city.  I noticed a lot of graffiti on walls, but was surprised about the theme of it.  At first I thought it might be a random thing, but as I continued to look around, I saw the name Jesus a lot.  Now my first thought is that some guy named Jesus (he-sus) has way too much spray paint and he gets around.  Also, my lack of Spanish means I’m probably posting photos with no telling what on them, however these people worship Jesus all the time and He is in the forefront of their lives.

And as Sloan said in an earlier post, they love to know our names.  Not only do they want to know our names, but they write them down, like in this photo.  ”Jesus te ama” is Jesus loves you.  This is one of many pieces of paper like this.

This other photo is of a chalkboard in one of the classrooms.  The kids love chalk!  Shortly after we arrived, the concrete was covered with chalk art, much of which had crosses, hearts and Jesus.  I haven’t even gotten to those photos yet.  They are absolutely beautiful.

About two months ago, I got a really cool pair of shoes from a friend’s teenage daughter.  She said she was not wearing them anymore, so I took them home with me.  The shoes were awesome, great colors and artwork!  As soon as I got home, I put them on and went outside to play with the boys.  We got out the sidewalk chalk… well our version of sidewalk chalk… and started the outside art process.  I drew the skull that was on my shoe.  

I had seen lots of merchandise with artwork like my shoes, but I didn’t really know much about it.  Ed Hardy.  Stuff that people are paying insane amounts of money for.  $109 for a short sleeve t-shirt?!?!?!?  Are you kidding me?

Okay, so I have been know to shop at The Buckle on occasion.  I love their stuff, but not as much as they do.  Even if I had that kind of money, I would not pay full price for it.  I typically avoid the mall at all costs, but I needed to go there for my annual visit.  I had the boys with me and they picked out my Christmas gifts there.  Each one picked out a shirt for me off of the sale rack.  As we went to pay, we passed a table full of Ed clothing.  I didn’t even stop to look since I knew I would never pay what was listed on those little tags.

When I went to wear one of the shirts, I realized it had loose buttons.  My laundry theory: wash similar colors together in warm water, dry on high heat and anything that comes out looking good is worth keeping.  Oh, great.  Another trip to the mall to make a return.

This time I went without the boys.  It was the day after Christmas and I’m really not sure what I was thinking, other than I just want to get all my errands run.  I decided to just return the shirt and not get anything else.  I think I’m probably the only person over 40 that shops there, because they did not see a teen with me, so nobody asked if I wanted anything else in place of the shirt I was returning.  

On either side of me, there were teen girls shopping with their moms, making purchases with what was probably Christmas money or Buckle gift cards.  The girls were purchasing Ed hardy clothing.  One had a total of $87 and the other a total of $94.  Each girl only bought one t-shirt.  It really saddened me that this is an acceptable way to teach kids how to spend money and how our society endorses financial prostitution.  

On the way out of the mall, I saw an Ed Hardy bedding set at Macy’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I think his stuff is really cool, however I think it’s ridiculous that it costs as much as it does.  Just for a queen duvet cover and 2 pillowcases… $299.  Saddened once again that Macy’s was nearly sold out of this stuff, I left the mall.

I had one more return to make at Marshall’s.  As I was once again standing in a long line of people waiting to return something, I saw another teenager shopping with her mom.  They were checking out, and once again, the girl was buying an Ed Hardy t-shirt.  It was not the one she really wanted, but it was an Ed shirt for $30.  I suppose she thought that any Ed Hardy shirt was better than no Ed Hardy shirt.  I had a respect for them for shopping at a discount store, but whether or not the Ed stuff is discounted, or like in my case free, what statement are we making by wearing it?  

• I support financial insanity
• Food… $12, gas… $40, mortgage payment with late fees… $2367, Ed Hardy t-shirt… priceless
• My shirt cost more than yours!
• The tattoo would have been cheaper
• So what, my parents paid for it

Ok, I’ll stop now.  Should I start my own clothing line?  I could, but that would make me another victim of our society.  I think I will write a book (Allison will have to do this with me) about self expression through clothing.  How to treasure hunt at thrift stores and modify clothing to make your own personal statement.  

Off to treasure hunt now…  Oh, and I will probably still wear my free shoes, but as usual, I will modify them and make sure I tell everyone about treasure hunting.

Well, there goes the neighborhood… 

I guess by the photo, it is obvious that I live in a neighborhood with no homeowner’s association.  My front door was a blah shade of hunter green, blending in with all the other doors in the area.  I suppose it could have been worse.  The door could have been a beige or tan color.  Maybe I would have painted it sooner.  The door is not in the best condition, but it serves it’s purpose and won’t be replaced anytime soon.  I like the bright turquoise.  My door looks happier than the rest in my neighborhood.

If my neighborhood had an HOA, I would have been kicked out a long time ago.  My lovely trampoline would have insured that. It has nine colors of duct tape holding it together– and you don not want to see a picture of my fence! HOA’s make you pay money to have rules.  I guess that could help for resale value by keeping the area looking nice, however who wants to pay all those extra fees?  Your home should be a safe, comfortable place to live, but let’s not forget that a house is also for self expression.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that everything I do in my house is not good for resale.  Over the past 30 years, we’ve become a bunch of conformists.  Houses used to be many different styles and colors.  Now, they are all designed to blend in with nature.  Earth-toned colors are the norm.  The same natural stone tile, beige carpet and wood floors are acceptable.  I understand that people have different tastes in home decor, but if you like something just a little bit different, you will not find anything out there to suit your taste.

If I had an HOA, it would encourage individuality, self expression and fun.  We’ll call it the jHOA.

Rules and Regulations

• Grass can be any length as long as you mow it in circles.
• Bold paint colors are encouraged for exterior, as well as interior.  After all, it’s just paint!
• Doors should be painted your favorite color, or all of your favorite colors.
• Yard art is encouraged.  Enter our annual Funkiest Yard Art contest!
• Your garage is yours.  Store whatever you want in it.  (Legal stuff only please)
• Tree houses are acceptable as long as they are painted nicely.
• Feel free to park your car the wrong direction.
• You park your VW bus out front and live in it.
• The jHOA is free of charge, but all residents must share photos of their property on a social networking site or blog and must be an active participant in the jHOA.

These are just a few of the basic rules.  And all rules, just because that’s an awful word, are up for debate.  Come live on my street!!!

They say the older women get, the bigger their underwear get.  I’m not sure who ‘they’ is, but I’m quite sure ‘they’ spent too much time at grandma’s house or looking at the Sears catalog.  

So what’s my obsession with panties lately?  Well, for starters, we’re using a pair of granny panties in a photo shoot for our Christmas church mailer.  Christmas surprises.  (nope, this one wasn’t my idea)  So when I posted that I am shopping for granny panties on Facebook, I got a lot of interesting questions.  First of all, anyone that knows me, knows that I’m always looking for odd things to shoot or weird things for my art projects.

So when I was getting dressed the next morning, I chose a pair of underwear (I prefer to call them underwear, not panties, as that is a girly word) from my drawer.  My thought process: These aren’t my favorite ones, they fit okay, I don’t really like the color, but they’re clean.  Who’s going to see them anyway?  I do wear teenager clothing and my jeans are more low-rise than they should be.  No big deal, if I just wear a shirt that is long and covers everything, nobody will see them.  So I put them on.  I got dressed and remembered I had this totally awesome hat.  After choosing the hat, I had to find a shirt that matched.  I found the perfect long sleeved t-shirt.  Time to go hang out with some friends and unwind.

Well, needless to say, the shirt matched the hat perfectly, but did not work with my underwear plan.  I needed under-cover-wear.    They were not only just a tad big for me, but they were also bright orange.  After listening to many comments about my underwear during happy hour, I told them to take a picture, it would last longer.  So they did.  My friends got in on it too.  Yes, we all flashed our underwear choices right there on Main street.

So this morning when I got dressed, I very carefully selected my underwear.  My shirt today was long, so nobody ever saw them.  They were my Gap men’s boxer briefs.  I have several pairs of men’s boxer briefs. No, they are not hand-me-down’s from an ex, I bought them myself.  Comfort in underwear that can’t even compare to anything they make for women!  Should these just be for men only?  I think not, although I haven’t found a use for that opening in the front yet.

So if people can see your underwear, make sure your underwear fit and that they aren’t orange.  There’s nothing worse than your butt looking like the great pumpkin.  Unless it’s your halloween costume.  And if that’s the case, you should rethink your costume choice.  

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I cannot live without my latte machine.  It’s a Pasquini machine, basically a smaller version of the ones in the trendy coffee shops.  

This is a pricey machine, but after doing a cost analysis on how much I was spending at Starbuck, Seattle’s Best, Caribu Coffee and many other coffee addict hangouts, I decided it was time to make a purchase.  (Yes, I did the cost analysis, I used to be a financial analyst)  Being the thrifty person I am, I had to price shop it to death.

The best place to buy beans, is also the best place to buy a machine. wholelattelove.com I bought this machine about 4 years ago.  It retailed then for $1700.  Again, being “one of those people” who will not pay full price, I bought it refurbished from whole latte love through eBay for $1300.  Yes!!!  A great deal.

I use this machine everyday.  (mine looks much cooler than the stock photo, hey?)  And then some.  So due to heavy use, one of the knobs broke.  I had to buy my Lavazza beans last week and decided to look up my machine to see if they had parts.  I was shocked to see my machine out there (exact same one, I checked) selling for $2699.00!  

So the takeaway here is that coffee IS an investment.  :)